DESTROYER #122 SYNDICATION RITES
CHARACTERS
Cal Dreeder, Randy Smeed, Harry Wilkes-DEA agents.
Eduardo Sanchez-Puerto Rican revolutionary who is part of the MIR, Movimiento de Izquierda Revolucionaria and is released from prison by the president only to be killed by Remo who incurs the wrath of the First Lady who was the one who wanted him released in the first place to further her chances to be elected to Congress. Did you follow all of that?
Rolando Rodriguez-MIR member who witnesses Remo's actions and reports to Senorita Primera.
Alberto-His brother and Puerto Rican exile in Miami.
Lawrence Fine-Broker for Lippincott, Forsythe, and Butler who never understood why people made fun of his name or called him Larry. He is killed when his usefulness is over.
Arthur Finch-LFB management trainee who loved to tease Larry and make 3 Stooges jokes.
Sol Sweet-Mob lawyer.
Don Anselmo Scubisci aka The Dandy Don-Son of Don Pietro from early book in the series. He is serving time in Ogdenburg prison but is running the set up of Raffair.
Johnny "Books" Fungillo-Mob goon who keeps having run ins with Remo.
Mrs. Fungillo-His mother.
Darrell Irwin-Commander of USS Walker patrolling near Cuba.
Mark Howard-CIA analyst who gets feelings about certain events, something like intuition. He seems to be the presidents choice to replace Smitty.
Betty-President's secretary.
Paul Petito-Boston Raffair branch manager and former counterfeiter.
Seymour Botz-Boston accountant.
Louis DiGrotti aka Louis the Bear-Very hairy Raffair worker in Boston who looks like he bathes in Rogaine and is beheaded by Chiun.
Signora Angela Scubisci-Anselmo's mother who is in the Mott Street Community Home.
Mikey "Skunks" Falcone-Another Raffair hood.
Don Hector Vincenzo-Head of the Naples Camorra.
Fondi "Kneecaps" Bisol, Cousin Jack, Angelo Tanaro, Skins Moletti-Scubisci hoods.
Holy Pauli Pavulla-Gangster who seems to be a cereal worshipper.
Jimmy Pains-Ganster who gets fed through a paper shredder.
Dr. Edgerton-Folcroft physician.
Mrs. Mikulka-Smitty's secretary.
Tommy "Guns" Rovigo-Gangster who has his head exploded by Chiun.
Francesca Gabinetto-Mother of the four hulking brothers Jennio, Fabio, Emilio, and Mario.
FACTS
Chiun now loves the singing of country and western artist Wylander Jugg.
Smitty does not know who the 3 Stooges are just like in an earlier book he did not know the Marx Brothers.
Remo does not like Adam Sandler movies or Tom Hanks' acting.
Remo and Chiun are preparing to make the outgoing president forget about CURE. Remo wishes they could make the whole country forget the last 8 years.
Chiun calls Italians mashed tomato eaters and sons of Tiber.
Smitty is really showing signs of aging and is considering retirement. He has really tired of the current president who has tried to use CURE for his own purposes.
Chiun is also showing some signs as he gets a drop of blood on a nail and doesn't sense all the people in a room.
Furniture is disappearing from the White House as the First Lady prepares to leave.
The presidential pets have been trained to dislike the president.
Remo holds a live grenade in his hands to smother it.
Johnny Fungillo is paralyzed by a blow to the center of the forehead delivered by Remo but is brought out of it by being accidentally hit by a bedpan in the hospital.
A women's group uses as its symbol an O bracketed by two wavy lines to symbolize a woman's private parts.
The phrases diavolo tonno and fritto di pesce are used but I don't know what they mean, any ideas out there?
Chiun calls tomatoes pomatoes at one point and says they are suspicious since they haven't the decency to be either a fruit or a vegetable.
Women are bothering Remo again since he last his shark tank when Castle Sinanju was burned.
QUOTES
Empty head but full heart. Remo
You are never right, and you get more not right with every passing day.
Hurry up, retard.
Water cannot be more wet that wet.
A handful of flowers is a bouquet-a field is hayfever.
Why don't I just stick a broom up my ass so I can sweep the streets? Remo
There isn't room for your head would get in the way. Chiun
You were struck dumb years ago.
Blue is a common gutter color favored by street walkers.
Rear doors are for philandering husbands and collectors of garbage.
Cats in a sack make more agreeable noises. Remo
We've still got miles to go before we sleep. Remo another Robert Frost reference.
PLOT
Terrorists are attacking Remo and Chiun all around the country as they chase down what appears to be a mob influenced new company with branches all over the place. The company is called Raffair after Our Affair or Cosa Nostra. The public is being given the opportunity to invest inn organized crime.
THOUGHTS
There is a good storyline here but some possibly unsettling future possibilities are coming to the forefront for Remo and CURE. Only time will tell how all this works out.
DESTROYER #123 DISLOYAL OPPOSITION
CHARACTERS
Boris Vanovich Feyodov-Son of Gregori Feyodov. Former Soviet general and destroyer of the Challenger shuttle. He is now looking for revenge on his former homeland.
Viktor Churlinski-Builder of the particle beam weapon.
Gary Jenfeld and Zen Bower-Former ice cream moguls who met Feyodov at the Moscow McDonalds and are using him and his weapon to try and get independence for Barkley, California.
Yippee Goldfarb, Leslie Walters, Bobby Stone-Comedians who work for Buffoon Aid on Home Ticket Booth.
patterned after Whoopie, Robin, and Billy on HBO.
Lorraine Wintnabber-Chairperson of the Barkley Historical Society.
Firefighter Joe, Burly Bob, and Fireman Pete-Arsonists and murderers targeted by Remo in chapter two.
Edwin Soisson-French official at the Guinan Space center.
Eileen Mikulka-Smitty's secretary.
Keenan-Her son.
Dr. Paulakus-Folcroft physician.
Jeremiah Purcell aka The Dutchman-Heavily sedated patient at Folcroft who is showing signs of recovery.
Mark Howard-Smitty's new assistant.
Pavel Zatsyrka-Head of Russian SVR formerly known as KGB.
Vadim Lhdanov-Leader of a Russian hit squad.
Yuri Koskolov-Associate of Feyodov.
Jackoff Smirniv-Russian comic.
Vladimir Zhirinsky-In league with Feyodov.
Ivan Kerbabaev-Assistant to Zhirinsky.
Oleg Shevtrinko-One of Feyodov's men.
Anna Chutesov-Russian agent and former love of Remo's who he has thought dead for many years.
Brandy Brand formerly known as Buffy Brand-FBI agent who changed her name because of a TV character named Buffy.
Melvin Horowitz-Professor at Barkley University.
Charlie Worrel-White House intern.
Sergei Sagdeev-Mir cosmonaut.
Zipp Codwin-NASA director.
Theodore Schwartz-Satellite network owner based on Ted Turner.
Scott Crouse-Head of America Internet Connection or AIC based on AOL.
FACTS
This books starts out two weeks after Castle Sinanju was burned.
Remo alias in chapter 2 is Mayor Dan Gorgonzola.
Remo recalls a childhood memory of Father Hanigan taking him to a fire station in Newark.
Remo finds a new use for handlebar mustache of one of his victims.
Remo is still suffering from Master's Disease.
Remo and Chiun cannot incapacitate Purcell since he is of Sinanju.
Smitty's wife gave him a scarf for Christmas which reminds him of one he had as a child. He remembers fondly the
scents trapped in the fibers of his old scarf.
Remo likes Rodney Dangerfield and Buffy the Vampire Slayer.
Great description of the result of an overhand blow from Remo to a guy's head. His "collapsing vertebrae clicked together like fastening legos".
Mrs. Mikulka brings Smitty 2 slices of dry toast and coffee every morning at 7.
The new president has a southern twang in his voice.
Remo calls himself America's Official Assassin.
Remo breaks a nightstick in half and jams the halves into a guards nostrils.
Chiun is still speaking highly of Ivan the Good.
The rug in the Oval Office had been sent out for cleaning but it is doubtful if all the stains will come out.
Items stolen from the White House are showing up on eBay.
Chiun claims credit for the Titanic, the Hindenburgh, and the Lindbergh kidnapping. It was hard to tell if he was kidding or exactly what he was taking credit for in each case.
Mark Howard uses Smitty's old desk in his tiny office at Folcroft.
Lots of clues and references to upcoming Destroyer plots. Anna thinks about a Russian secret that she has kept from Remo. Feyodov also mentions something stolen from Remo that will have future ramifications.
Great new ice cream flavor mentioned, Rad Vlad Lenin Caramel Blast.
Remo and Chiun are reaching a point where Remo is beginning to feel like it is time for him the take over.
Mactep is Russian for master.
Remo changes the birthmark on a former Soviet leader's head to read USA #1.
QUOTES
Quacksalver. Chiunism for doctor
A Pippie! Another Chiunism, this time for hippie.
Pee-yew, I smell Russians. Remo
Why can't those Volga-paddlers smell like something other than turnips boiled in Stolichnaya? Remo
Since when do you give a turd in a tailpipe what Smith wants?
Isn't a Russian in the black market like a Kennedy in a cocktail lounge?
Fame doesn't equal good. Anyone who's ever seen a Jim Carrey movie knows that.
Okay, Barney and Andy.
Did you have to explain to little Timmy exactly where California is on a map. Remo to Smitty about the pres.
Lucy, I'm home.
We're on a rocket ride to Armageddon.
You hid it inside Mr. Slate. Flintstone reference
Those boom noises always attract more boom noises. Remo
That woman has always been duplicitous.
You cling to the childish concepts taught you by those carpenter-idoling spinsters.
HISTORY
Master Hupka invented the wheel for Mesopotamia to transport tribute to Sinanju.
Master Lom learned that jewelry throws off the natural balance of the body when he strangled himself with his own necklace in front of Nebuchadrezzar. approx 605-562 BC
PLOT
Satellites are being destroyed in their orbits, Huitzilopochtli worshippers in Barkley, CA. are trying to declare independence, Russian agents are working inside our borders. Do all these things tie together? Will Remo fine the common thread and stop it all before the world is destroyed? Sure he will, but it's still fun to find out how.
THOUGHTS
Great story that really sets up what should be an even better finish in the next book. All the thread that Mr. Mullaney is dangling out there are sure getting my interest peaked.
DESTROYER #124 BY EMINENT DOMAIN
CHARACTERS
Brian Turski-Member of APSC, Alyeska Pipeline Service Company, sent to repair a leak.
Joe Abada-APSC foreman.
Race H. Fordell-Major in the First Civil Support Battalion of the Alaska Defensive Force.
Eilenn Mikulka-Smitty's secretary.
Mark Howard-Smitty's assistant and Remo does not like him or the idea of him. He even calls him Little Lord Fauntleroy.
Anna Chutesov-Russian agent somewhat responsible for the Sinanju trained army.
Sergei-Russian agent.
Robert Hogue-National Guard colonel.
Lavrenty Skachkov-Russian mactep, master, of the army called by many other names by Remo such as Skitch Henderkov, Crotchcough, and Scratch. He is the son of a tractor mechanic and a ballerina. He was trained in Sinanju by viewing film of Remo and Chiun and practicing until he could copy blows.
Bootsie Klein-Fairbanks clothing store clerk called Boobsie by Remo.
Vladimir Zhirinsky-Russian ultranationalist who loves to bite off and eat the noses of people.
Ivan Kerbabaev-Assistant to the nose eater.
Yuri-Russian soldier killed by Anna.
Colonel Hawkins-US soldier.
Pavel Zatsyrko-Director of Russian agency SVR.
Boris Feyodov-Russian mafia, called Flavorice by Remo.
Sonmi-Old woman of Sinanju who drowns herself in the bay in the epilogue of the book.
FACTS
Story takes place in February.
Remo still has the feeling that something is going to happen.
Chapter two has Remo teaching a lesson to a group of cemetary vandals.
Chiun calls Mark Howard Prince Mark.
The phone to CURE is moved back to the president's bedroom, another Will Murray blaspheme done away with.
Chiun still likes Wylander Jugg.
Remo is surprised that he gets to eat some orange slices.
Chiun calls the outgoing president the roly-poly billhilly.
Remo knows of 62 variations od Chiun's silences.
Chiun and Remo argue about the lesson of Wo-Ti that of not serving a succeeding emperor. It is Remo who takes the side of preserving Sinanju tradition.
Chiun wears a hat with earflaps in the Alaskan cold. He holds out the flaps and makes airplane noises.
Remo Leiter alias.
Remo gives lessons, 1. weapons cheapen the art 2. don't look up 3. die with dignity 4. steal from the rest or face the wrath of the best.
Chiun flicks an imaginary drop of blood from his fingernail.
Still use multiple 1 code on phone.
Howard's intuition tells him Anna may still be alive.
Smitty can contact Russian police.
The fake Remos rotate their wrists.
Sister mary Elizabeth taught Remo history.
Chiun holds an army colonel upside down by the ankle to shake out his jeep keys.
Remo doesn't add in his head well but Chiun does.
Remo and Chiun play lawn darts with Russian soldiers as targets and rifles as darts.
Remo removes the former Russian leader, the drunk one. Let's see if he shows up dying of a cold soon.
QUOTES
The path you are on must be walked alone.
One of us must think once in a while.
May the gods have mercy on us if that someone is you.
The way you think, it's gambling.
He's not friggin Tony the Tiger.
Your every word is like a drop of rain upon the arid land of unworthy ears.
Ain't that just a turd in the water tank?
The Great Frontier is what exists between your ears.
Eenie meenie miney moe, one of you has got to go.
Been there, killed that.
Don't call it the curse of Wang. Makes it sound like we're out viagra shopping.
Chuck Norris on a bad wig day would've dodged that.
I have an idea.
Gotta get through me first sweetheart.
I'm a Yankee Doodle Dandy.
HISTORY
The Great Wang spoke of a hardship for Shiva'a avatar to be put to the test against one of the dead but beyond death, of the Void but not, of Sinanju but not, to decide the fate of the line of Wang.
Sinanju worked for Victor Emmanuel I of Sardinia.
Master Hwa would not sign the Geneva Convention document.
Lenin tried to use Sinanju but would not pay.
PLOT
A Russian army of supposedly Sinanju trained soldiers is trying to reclain Alaska for Russia. Remo and Chiun have to go in to defeat the army with the spectre of a warning from the Great Wang.
THOUGHTS
Very good story that builds to a climactic battle between the younger Master of Sinanju and the Russian master. Remo and Chiun's relationship is gradually changing and seems to be moving in the direction of Remo becoming the reigning Master soon.
I enjoy Remo's reluctance with Mark Howard. I have the same feeling about him but I figure Remo and I will both come to accept and like him later.
DESTROYER #125 THE WRONG STUFF
CHARACTERS
Clark Beemer-NASA PR DA.
Pete Graham-NASA Scientist who develops the Virgil spider.
Zipp Codwin-Former astronaut and now head of NASA with its Faster Better Cheaper motto. Called many names by Remo and Chiun from Dipp Codpiece to Zipp Hatpin to Ripp Aspirin.
Buck Thruston, Alice Peak-More NASA folks.
Barrabas Orrin Anson aka B.O.-Former NFL star turned pseudo actor, turned wife murderer who becomes a chapter two target for Remo.
Mark Howard-CURE assistant director who is not on Remo's list of favorite people. Howard wonders if it may be time to change some things at CURE.
Linus Feculant, Hal Shittman-Political activists and racists.
Stewart McQueen-Horror author who is super prolfic and has written such tomes as Caterpillar and The Gas Mileage. He is suffering from writer's block since his accident.
Duncan Allen-One of many ghostwriters for McQueen.
Berni-Agent for McQueen.
Maura and Brad-Newscasters.
Martin Riley, Chuck Kaufman-Armored car driver and partner killed by Gordons.
Sue and Janey Riley-Wife and daughter of Martin.
Major Healey-Leader of group of space cadets that work for Fig Newton, I mean Zipp Codwin.
Eliza Roote-Another enemy of Sinanju who shows up briefly here and fights Gordons. I am sure he will return soon to fight out heroes.
Juan Jimenez, Ronnie Marzano-Drug dealers.
Eileen Mikulka-The erstwhile secretary.
Song-Chiun's son who appears to Remo and Remo realizes it is time to become Reigning Master.
Shirley Ederman-Spokesperson for Scrimsher Publishing.
FACTS
Remo uses the Remo Bednick alias.
He remembers Sister Mary Margaret telling him to make lemonade when life deals you lemons.
He also remembers Sister Irene teaching him about the wise men who were Zoroastrian astrologers.
Remo realizes it is time to become the Reigning Master. Chiun lets it be known that there is more to it than just saying the words.
Remo whistles the tune from Little Mermaid.
Smitty does not allow Mark to put pictures on the wall behind his desk because someone might see a reflection of his computer screen.
Chiun is liking Spanish sitcoms and soaps.
Remo cuts out newspaper clippings about the killing of B.O. to annoy Mark.
Chiun calls Vietnamese dog gobblers and while on a plane ride he uses Halloween candy corn to hit the heads of the Vietnamese passengers.
He sits over the left wing of the plane.
Mention of TV show The C-Files.
Howard calls Remo on Codwin's cell phone.
Remo is anxious to get a crack at the Sinanju Scrolls.
QUOTES
Do us all a favor Remo and hire someone to do your thinking.
A kennel is not a buffet.
You may not have any Yankee Poodle Pie.
To infinity and beyond!
McQueen to the devil "When I die don't stick me in the same pit as John Grisham.
Our lives are just one wacky Patty Duke Show episode after another.
His mind was beginning to precede the body into the void.
It is alwasy wise to make no assumptions about what you think you know.
Isn't this where Shemp sees the ghost but Moe and Larry are to busy to notice.
It's altogether ooky.
And you are different from an uncreative, unthinking robot in what way?
HISTORY
Master Shiko was an aging Master whose son was trained but not yet Reigning Master. His health was not good due to an encounter with the fireworshipping Ghebers in Persia, a sect of the Zoroastrian astrologers.. He is summoned back to Persia for a minor service. On his return trip home he takes a shorter but harder route through the Himalayas. He meets the Sherpa monks and they tell him of a terrible beast that is terrorizing their settlements. They ask the Master to help them get rid of the beast. They search and search for the beast but find nothing. The Sherpas do learn to travel on the ice and snow without falling off the mountain by being with the Master. The search was so long and difficult that the Master's health failed and he returned to the monastery to die. His son Hya-Tee goes to see to his father and learns the truth. He kills all who had a hand in the by hiding in the snow to cast them to their deaths but the Sherpas had already taught the skills to the women and children of their area. They now pay a tribute each year to Sinanju for their thievery. They also tell tales of the fearsome Yeti, or Hya-Tee as we know him.
When Chiun was a child, a tax collector once came to Sinanju. Chiun's father sent him back minus his hands which were bronzed and sen to the capital. Sinanju was never asked for taxes again.
Master Foo was hired by Sultan Mehmed to kill Vlad the Impaler, also known as Dracula.
Sinanju has faced dragons, minotaurs, and gorgons, which Remo thinks are the snake haired women.
PLOT
Gordons is back and is as good as new and that's bad for Remo. He also teams up with a certain horror writer who has his own haunted house for Gordons to control. Remo ha s to deal with all of this while becoming aware of his future place in Sinanju.
THOUGHTS
Remember the days when every new Destroyer book brought joy to your reading life? For me, those times were in the early years of the series but after a while I read them more out of habit and loyalty to the title. Some were good, some not so good, and some were awful. This is no longer the case. Jim Mullaney has but the anticipation back in the books. I can't wait for each new book. This latest one is the best yet from him and that's not to say his others were bad because they were not. He is just taking the series to new areas that make me look forward to every book he writes.
I have warned you to inform me beforehand when that one special day in each decade comes around that I may be out of town.
I'm a Korean Doodle Dandier.
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